Fortnight
38
Thursday
Oh dear… I need your help… I have a kitty dilemma.
I
am not well today but I don't want to go to the vet. How
do I hide the large amount of runny poo that is currently
sitting in full view in my litter tray, I know if mum
or dad see it I will be whisked off to the vets, and there
is no way I want to go there for a while. I need to find
a way to hide it before they come downstairs this morning.
I
failed.
I didn't hide it, they know I have bad guts and they also
know my ears are annoying me as I was having a good old
scratch last night and they caught me… it's always a good
thing when your ears are annoying you to scratch in private,
then you don't have to go to the vets.
This afternoon I was tricked into getting into the carrier
and taken to the vets. He put the long thing in my backside
and let some stranger get up close and personal to take
the reading.. have they no consideration for a cats feelings????
(They have a trainee vet working with them at the minute;
I bet my backside was the nicest he has ever seen!!!)
Then he put something in my ears and they both peered
down that as well… this does not look good for the long-term
happiness of me… a plan must be hatched so I do not get
eardrops again tonight.
My plan has been hatched and deployed, and, it worked
a treat, although now I am wet and coldish and outside…
but NO EARDROPS! My plan was an old one, but I
know it works. In diary
32 I was sick in the cat carrier, well today
I did it again, but more volume. Mum had to clean the
car and then the carrier and then me… she was chasing
me around the street with a bucket and a cloth. Does she
think I'm daft? I'm not going near her when she is carrying
that. However, dad came home at the wrong time and I was
collared and washed but she couldn't get all the sick
off, so she doused mw with the bucket, it did the trick
and got me clean but I was soaked and legged it to the
privacy of a tree to dry off. They let me back inside
when I was dry but didn't attack me with drops, which
meant my plan worked.
Friday
Ah! My plan only worked short-term. This morning, not
only did I get 5 drops of disgusting oily drops in each
ear but I got some foul tasting paste in the mouth as
well…. One major problem is apparent here… the paste tastes
disgusting and I need to get rid of the taste but there
is no food out, only water. How do I get rid of the taste,
water does not shift it?
I dropped some obvious hints to mum that I wanted food
this afternoon. She was watching TV and I walked up to
her and dropped the feather from the end of the tail tickler
on her lap, as she went to pick it up I grabbed it again
and took it to my food bowl and dropped it in there. Did
she get the hint? No! I still got no food but I did get
a nice cuddle…. Nice, but not as filling as a bowl of
food. When can I eat?
Ah!
They fed me! Thank God! They fed me tonight.. a full 24
hours with no food. I ate it all really quick in case
they changed their mind! After that I was a happy cat
until I got more eardrops bunged in my ears…
Saturday
I
was sat in my room this morning looking into the garden
and Molly and Henry came to visit me. They were playing
on the garden wall… you can see from the picture how cute
she looked. I didn't get out to play with them though.
Sunday
I am still on the eardrops, but thankfully, as my upset
tummy has cleared they have stopped giving me the paste.
They have learnt to put in the drops deeply so when I
shake my head nothing comes out.. I think I am going deaf,
everything is all gloopy.
I
spent the evening asleep on the sofa, thinking that if
I were asleep there I wouldn't get eardrops, as they would
mark the sofa… I was wrong! They still managed to get
me! Next time I will have to hide better!
Monday
Mum was on the computer today and I went to help her by
sitting on the keyboard. I got a nice cuddle and then
was lifted off the keyboard, onto her knee…. I got straight
back onto the keyboard and tapped some keys… trying to
help with the diary entry, but she deleted it.. so much
for trying to help! Like I said before, if cats had fingers
I could hit single keys instead of bunches of keys and
could help her more… I may start a campaign for cats called
"Cats want fingers".
Wednesday
Have you seen what a mess the eardrops have made of my
fur? Just how is a cat supposed to get an oil based solution
of their fur and look their best? Everybody knows that
cats clean themselves by licking their paws and running
it over the dirty area, but it doesn't seem to work on
oily things. Now not only have I got oil on the fur by
my ears, but it's on my legs as well…. Now, if cats had
fingers I could hold a sponge and get a proper wash and
look at my stunning best again… I am definitely starting
a campaign for "Cats want
fingers".
Saturday
Well, after many days of trying I have overcome the first
hurdle. I managed to turn on the Gameboy. I couldn't play
anything, obviously as there is no way I can push those
tiny buttons with paws, but I did manage to turn it on.
Dad looked at me like I was an alien. I think he was completely
bemused that I managed to turn it on. I did it a few times
today just to prove it was not a one off fluke!
Monday
Dad
made me a new toy today. A massive box that I think held
a monitor for a PC. He taped up the sides and cut 2 small
holes in 2 sides. Just big enough to stick a paw through,
and one hole big enough (just), to get my body through
so I could get inside. I looked at it nervously for over
an hour before I dared to go anywhere near it, well, it
may attack me, it IS big after all…. Much bigger than
me. After a while dad put the Tail Tikkler inside and
left it sticking out, well, the curiosity was intense
and I just HAD to go for a look. I spent the whole of
the day inside the box either playing, or sleeping.
Dad decided to play with me later in the evening and he
stuck his hand in the big hole when I was in a mad mood.
I attacked it!!! I left him with my teeth and claw marks
up his hand and arm. For some reason he stopped playing
then and sat with a big tissue on his arm that was slowly
turning red.. I hope didn't hurt him TOO much, he may
not ever play with me again! Click
here to see pictures of me
playing in the box
Tuesday
I
think I have really upset mum today. She was unpacking
all the shopping after the weekly supermarket trip and
as usual I was helping. She put some stuff away in one
of the top cupboards and I was watching, but hiding behind
a plastic bag. When it looked like she was going to go
in the other room I ran through first. The only problem
is she didn't see me. She tripped over me, hit her head
on the open cupboard door and landed in my room (the dining
room in their language) and hit her head in the same place
on the dining chair. She lay there screaming with red
stuff coming down her face. Before I got shouted at, I
ran and hid. The minute the door was opened I ran outside
and didn't come back for hours. I know she is going to
be really mad. It looked like it really hurt and she sounded
in pain. I hope she doesn't leave any red on the carpet
in my room. It will clash with the pink of the carpet
and I don't want that.
Thursday
Mum was in the bathroom tonight and dad was on the PC,
and, like the gooseberry I am I had to join them as I
hate being in a room on my own. When they leave a room
I have to follow them… anyway I decided to join mum in
the bathroom and she turned on the tap on the sink for
me to play. I stood on the sink with my front paws inside,
by the plughole and my back paws on the edge of the sink.
When she turned the tap on I tried to chase the water,
I tried to stop it from going down the plughole. I was
pushing it away with my paws but it still kept going down,
so instead I put my head under the tap and used my whiskers
and paws to direct the water out of the sink. Mum was
sat on the toilet (not going to the toilet, sat watching
me and laughing), and she got soaked! I soon got bored
though as mum turned up the tap when I wasn't watching
and I got a quick wash. I ran off to get clean and dry
away from laughing humans!
Friday
In the last week or so I have spent most evenings asleep
on the sofa. I have been trying to see the strangest position
that I can fall asleep in, and I think the most frequently
used one is below.
Monthly Summary
Favourite
toy: Big Compaq Box
Favourite place: In the big box
Favourite
pastime: Sleeping
Least favourite thing: Eardrops
