Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners

Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners.

My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.

My cat does not break things, he helps gravity do its job.

My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely spit and scratch practice tools.

My cat does not gobble, he is trying to taste the bowl.

My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key.

My cat is not a "shedding machine", he is a paper recycling unit.

My cat is not a bed hog, he is a duvet tester.

My cat is not a chatterbox, he is advising me on what to do next.

My cat is not a dope addict, he is catnip appreciative.

My cat is not a lap fungus, he is a new kind of hot water bottle.

My cat is not a pest, he is attention deprived.

My cat is not a ruthless hunter, he is a wildlife control expert.

My cat is not evil, he is badness enhanced.

My cat is not fat, he is vertically challenged for his size.

My cat is not hydrophobic, he has an inability to appreciate moisture.

My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged.

My cat is not underfoot, he is shepherding me to my next destination (the food dish!).