Uncle Peter's Page for Focally Challenged

Uncle Peter's Page

It has been brought to our attention by one of our good friends that our usual font size is a bit small for some of our older guests. So this is a page especially for the focally challenged!

Now, Uncle Peter is one of our friends and through years of squinting at pretty girls his eyesight is not as good as it used to be......Below is something that we should all read and take to heart regardless of our age.....(and eyesight!!) and maybe we will learn something.....

What I've learnt as I've matured........

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities (or Presidents).

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "F--- 'em if they can't take a joke"......in 6 languages.

Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen.

If not...tough shit