order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees
well trained through our program of Special High Intensity
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T
on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately
placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are
especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T
you can handle.
who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental
Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail
to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee
Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted,
they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full
of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be
interested in a job training others. We can add your name
to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T)
Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T
jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head
Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)
Thank you, Boss in General (B.I.G S.H.I.T)
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