Only
in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only
in Britain...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only
in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open and chain
the pens to the counters.
Only
in Britain...do we use the word "politics" to describe the
process of Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and
"tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
Only
in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
the drive and put our junk in the garage.
Only
in Britain...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in
packs of eight.
Only
in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only
in Britain...are there handicap parking places in front of
a skating rink.
3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from
new shirts.
58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas
tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.
Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic
toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two
years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 people were injured last year in accidents involving out
of control Scalectrix cars.
8 people cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
while throwing up into the toilet.
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