PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS

[Pimpess]

PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK...
Beer:
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella:
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Scotch and soda:
Personality:Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Water:
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't

Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask):
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has
absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Cape Velvet:
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.):
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get
drunk... and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...

IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

Cider:
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer:
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer:
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness:
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Water:
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

Wine:
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy:
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port:
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky:
He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels:
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Rum or Tequila:
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

[Pimpess]

Sorry guys, this message seems to have posted twice and I can't delete either of them. My apologies!!!

If this is true which I would be killed for if I did... The girls are very lucky

but I feel sorry for us poor guys...


All the effort