Funny The intelligence of dogs vs cats

[kazthorn]

Here's one for all of feline mad members .

Excerpts from a dogs diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a cats diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...................
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

[TheGuru]

Very Good

[Waldo]

Wonderful! And the spooky thing is, it could be true!!

[kanedmamma]

Great Posting - can't we carry it on with our own cat diary for each day? Who knows, it may turn into a bestseller!!

[Nutty_ZA]

Originally Posted by kanedmamma

Great Posting - can't we carry it on with our own cat diary for each day? Who knows, it may turn into a bestseller!!

What a great idea... Why don't you start us off??

[manor]

Excerpts From A Bird's Diary by Irene E Ries
Day 983 - This morning one of my featherless slaves brought me a dish of canned fruit bits. Ick. Obviously someone has not been paying attention; this slave has not learned its lesson. I flung each tasteless piece against the wall with precision and then promptly overturned the dish. That was followed by a nap. I was then awakened by the sound of a slave mumbling about me while cleaning up the fruit bits. I decided to tweak the creature's skin for its insolence. I was rewarded with instant cries of contrition.

Day 994 - Today the slaves allowed the dog upstairs to accompany them while I granted them an audience; now that I know the dog's name, it should be worth a few laughs to see just how relatively intelligent canines are...NOT! The cat, on the other hand, is a nasty, smelly hairball. It wretches all over everything and mopes around. Today it wandered into my inner sanctum without my permission, before my agents could stop its entrance. I commenced shrieking at 20 decibels and beat my wings and flared my crest for added effect. The slaves are still trying to dislodge the cat from the ceiling.

Day 1003 - Today I am teaching the slaves to speak with me. This is trying my patience. No matter HOW clearly I enunciate, they keep saying the same thing over and over to me. How annoying. Since when did bring more apple slices become good bird ?!

Day 1115 - It's a lovely day and the slaves are carrying my portable palace outside onto patio to enjoy the good weather. The dog is amusing. I am calling the dog's name and he thinks its the male slave for him. I'm watching him press his sloppy wet nose against the glass, listening to his name being called. He's going crazy trying to obey the command...oops...almost fell off my perch laughing just now...

Day 1123 - This morning I observed the feline scratching the furniture while aloft on the curtain rod. I promptly sounded the Universal Avian Distress Signal. That nasty creature actually attempted to climb up the drapes to where I was seated! One of the slaves arrived just in time to catch the beast in the act and grab it by its nape and deposit it out the back door. Must have been the male slave; the cat was airborne there for a few seconds.

Day 1134 - Today I was good-naturedly minding my slaves' offspring. They were attempting to mimic my speech. How endearing. I climbed around on their heads and pretended to make a nest with their hair, which they perceived as a great honor. Indeed. They will make good and obedient servants one day, I think. Now, I just need to make it clear to them that they should dispense with the canine and the feline post haste...

[mofro187]

interesting concept