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Old 09-07-2008, 01:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and
said..."where???"

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." *

__________________________________________________ ___________________________


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kgr.

__________________________________________________ ____________________________

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...
__________________________________________________ ___________________________
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived
yet?"...
__________________________________________________ ______________

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces.
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!
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To err is human. To ARRR is pirate.

Last edited by Nutty_ZA; 09-07-2008 at 01:30 PM.
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Old 09-07-2008, 01:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Loved that - really made me chuckle
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Old 09-07-2008, 02:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Very good
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Very good - I'm sure some of those people work in the same office as me
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Old 19-07-2008, 11:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutty_ZA View Post
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
I wish this place was near me!
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Old 21-07-2008, 02:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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