The code; Women speak translated

[InLove]

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I've got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

10.) Don`t Ask : Said following your statement "What`s up (wrong)?
a: you have mental telepathy and know immediately what you have, or haven`t, done...
b: you had better ask and be prepared to understand, comfort, console, empathise, support, endorse etc etc

11.) If you want or if you like : Also used in a slightly 'go on I dare you' way. You know if you then do it you'll be made to feel guilty about it for ages afterwards.

12.) I know how many... : Applied to inches parked from the kerb; cans of beer in the fridge etc... BUT dangerous to challenge their perception of numbers

13.) Really... : Said with eyebrows raised and stare that could curdle milk. When you get that, and there is a prolonged silence you're up s**t creek.

14.) We agreed : She decided, so you'd better go along with it.

15.) Right then (see number 13) : Up s**t creek, but slightly further round the bend, and you have lost one paddle.

16.) But baby please.... : Said in a high pitched childish voice. She's asked you to do something several times. You'd better do what she wants or risk number 9

Feel free to add your own

[Mike]

As a woman Im sure you reserve the right to change the above without warning

[InLove]

Of course

[madcat]

Very good, and quite accurate I thought!


MadCat

[fifi2004]

I thought everyone knew that ? Or are you telling me that men didn't ? Either way, I think all men need to buy their women some chocolates.

[madcat]

Hear, Hear!!! I wholeheartedly agree to that idea


MadCat