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15-06-2007, 10:38 AM
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#1 (permalink) | |||||||||||
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Moderator
My Mood:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Liverpool UK
Posts: 2,579
Credits: 14,387
Nominated 12 Times in 12 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
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Playground One Liners
What has 2 legs and flies?
A pair of trousers... what do you call a fish with no eye? a fsh what do you call a pig with three eyes? a piiig what's brown and sticky? a stick Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "Can you drive this thing?" Two birds on a perch. One says to the other "Can you smell fish?" Two cannibals eating a clown. One says "does this taste funny?" what's about 2000 miles long and has 4 eyes? the mississippi what do you call a fly with no wings a walk whats orange and green and sounds like a parrot a carrot What noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster! What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean beef! a man with no arms or legs in a swiming pool? bob a man with a car on his head? jack a man with a spade on his head dug with no spade? dugless with forty rabits up his bum warren a man between two buildings? Ali a woman being dragged behind a boat? Annette a man with a seagull on his head? cliff what you call a man in a bath full of vegatables stew what do you call a man stuck to a birds face bill What's brown and runny? Linford Christie did you hear about the paper cowboy. he was hung for rustling  
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TheGuru |
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15-06-2007, 11:37 AM
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#2 (permalink) | |||||||||||
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Moderator
My Mood:
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,028
Credits: 8,610
Nominated 23 Times in 10 Posts
 TOTW/F/M Award(s): 3 |
They are oldies but goodies. Here's some more..
What do you call a man with no arms and legs at your front door? Matt What do you call a woman with no arms and legs on a BBQ? Patty What do you call a man who comes through your letterbox? Bill What's green and sits in the corner crying all the time? The Incredible Sulk What's big yellow and can't swim? A Bulldozer
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Kaz "I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king; I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing; each time I find myself flat on my face, I pick myself up and get back in the race." |
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15-06-2007, 11:48 AM
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#3 (permalink) | |||||||||||
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Moderator
My Mood:
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sandton, South Africa
Posts: 1,801
Credits: 11,855
Nominated 15 Times in 7 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 2  |
he he he... And one more... Q.) What's brown and green, and if it falls from a tree can kill you???? A.) A Pool Table 
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To err is human. To ARRR is pirate. |
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17-06-2007, 11:04 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Super Duper Poster
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wollongong, Australia
Posts: 747
Credits: 2,711
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
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And ANOTHER!!!
Q - How do you circumcise a whale??? A - With 4 skin divers!!! What do you call a blind deer??? No idea What do you call a blind deer with no legs??? Still no idea What do you call a blind deer with no legs after a vampire has been at him??? Still no bloody idea!!!
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Remember - If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem. |
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21-06-2007, 11:11 AM
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#6 (permalink) | |||||||||||
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Super Duper Poster
My Mood:
 Attack of the Sprouts Champion!Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Essex UK
Posts: 336
Credits: 2,793
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
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Lol they are really bad, but they are good...heres some more
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a camal with 3 humps? Humphrey What do cows do for entertainment? They rent moovies Why are there no asprins in the jungle? Because the Parots-ate-em-all why did the man take a pencil to bed? to draw the curtains and what about the old doctor doctor jokes... doctor doctor i feel like a pair of curtains well pull urself together then Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep. Lie on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off! Doctor, doctor, I feel like a king. What’s your name? Joe. You must be Joe King! Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I’ll deal with you later! |
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