How to feed your cat a pill.

[Elanza]

this one has had me in tears everytime it did the rounds in the office. You cat lovers must identify, I did and I don't even have a cat!


How to feed your cat a pill!

1 Pick up your cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position left forefinger and thumb on either side of catÂ’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As catÂ’s mouth opens pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2 Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3 Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

4 Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5 Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden

6 Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees; hold front and rear paws. Ignore growls and grumbles from cat. Get spouse to hold catÂ’s head firmly with one hand while forcing a wooden ruler gently into catÂ’s mouth with the other. Drop pill down the ruler and rub catÂ’s throat vigorously to make it swallow.

7 Retrieve cat from curtain rail; get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8 Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with catÂ’s head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force catÂ’s mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9 Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-aid to spouseÂ’s forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.


10 Retrieve cat from neighbourÂ’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with dessertspoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11 Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus jab. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12 Ring fire brigade to retrieve the bloody cat from the tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13 Tie the little buggerÂ’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down catÂ’s throat to wash down pill.

14 Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to A & E, sit quietly while doctor stitches your fingers and forearm, and remove pill from your eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15 Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

[london_girl]

oh man ... i type this with tears streaming down my face ... BUT HOW CLASSIC IS THIS.

reading this at work and the chick at the desk next to me asked if i was okay, i think she thought i was crying or something ... i was crying casue i was laughing so much!!!

can identify with a few of these

between my sister and i we used to have to work out a system to get Bob Martins down our 2 boys.

man was it a mission doing this every day, until i accidentally dropped one on the floor and one of the little beasties just went up to it and scoffed it down!!!

WHY COULDNT THEY HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!